


Border control.

by Howdafloof



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, F/M, I’m sorry but is ANYONE going to say how hot the Border guard was?, absolutely ooc, luther is dead because it’s practically a meme at this point, no? Whelp here I go...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 22:34:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19981618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Howdafloof/pseuds/Howdafloof
Summary: Kara and Alice are standing in line to get into Canada. Things aren’t looking good.Luther is dead, but when isn’t he.Alice is useless.And ‘claiming to be from the ministry of silly walks’ was an actual suggestion in Kara’s system to get through.Yeah this isn’t going to go well.





	Border control.

**Author's Note:**

> Sup, light Canada stereotyping so be warned.
> 
> Seriously I like Canadians, especially the fit ones who take the shirts off as they cut wood-whoops there I go-R and R.

If Kara could experience the sensation of Saliva thickening and lodging in her throat during a tense situation, she would undoubtedly be swallowing loud enough to cause a scene.

As it was she stood in line with Alice waiting to get through boarder control to Canada, stress levels rising by the minute the closer they got to the boxed in border guard. Though she could not see him, she knew he was a man by the gentle yet deep pitch with which he passed passport after passport, allowing citizens to slowly filter into the land of Maple syrup, zippers and what other stuff they produced in the land of apologies.

Perhaps she could be a cleaner? She loved cleaning even as a deviant.

Luther could-No-wait he had died at some point, when she wasn't exactly sure.

Alice could be...a child....completely useless for monetary gain.

Damn the pint sized brat better know she was only bringing her because Kara would feel guilty otherwise, it wasn't like she was useful for anything.

Though, could offer her to the local Canadian police force as bait for pedophile rings?

The line moved, Kara’s stress level rose (Lol) further

Perhaps if they didn’t make it, she could make a running leap over the line signalling the entrance to Canada while yelling ‘sorry’ in her best Canadian accent before being brutally gunned down. Maybe it would make the child android also smile or maybe even laugh at the stereotype before she too was brutality murdered.

Always leave them laughing as they say.

Second in line and if Kara still had her LED it would undoubtedly be washing the rest of the room in red, you would probably think the room was going into lock down if she made a siren noise.

As the people in front of her finished up, thousands of ideas flashed through her head, however each had an equally low chance of getting them through border control not riddled with bullets.

In an attempt to decrease her stress levels she looked at the most ridiculous scenario her processor had come up with and had to bite her lip.

Claiming that they were from the ministry of Silly walks was most definitely not going to pass.

Kara was a proper android, she could not do a silly walk.

Alice would most likely take a step and her leg would detach with a loud warning detail the biocomponent had fallen off and that as an _Android_ -she would need to go to the nearest Cyberlife store for repairs.

Useless midget.

Yep-she was definitely salty, what with the high probability she was going to die and that.

The person in front of the border control box moved it was their time to die. Staring at the floor, Kara grabbed Alice’s hand before the two trudged towards the cubicle.

“Passports?”

Kara swallowed, glancing at the two booklets in her hand before raising her head to look her executioner in the eye.

Her processor froze, the passports were dropped.

“Ma’am?

Kara could do nothing but stare at the absolute Adonis that sat before her.

Everything around her fell into insignificance, only Border guard 2677, meant anything anymore.

A handsome tanned and chiselled face, with full lips pulled into an easy and reassuring smile, a sharp nose, kind eyes topped with thick but well shaped brown eyebrows, thick, swept back hair of the same Color adorned his head.

“Holy RA9 be RA-mine” she whispered, thirium pump jolting as the man behind the glass cocked his head at her in an adorable fashion.

“Ma’am?” He asked again, Kara immediately scolding herself for ignoring her future ~~husband~~ crush’s words, she quickly scooped up the passports and slammed them into the collection dish.

“HERE MY LOVE!...I mean-my _bruv_ -I mean _homie_!-my _Nig_ -“

“Are you alright ma’am?” the rather startled guard asked, eyeing the starry eyed woman and gormless looking child clasping her hand. Kara laughed.

“Oh-Yes, Yes-Splendid! Just passing through your eyes-I MEAN TO CANADA HAHA!-Yes, Canada, so if you could just stamp me-I mean my passport! I’ll be on my way” she finished near hysterically, the sheer depths of the man’s eyes making her feel like she was leaking lubricant down her panties.

The border guard blinked confusedly before quickly nodding and scanning the passports, Kara smiling awkwardly as he handed them back.

“All clear just got to scan you in case your an Android-“

Shit.

Of course, the first one she falls in love with betrays her not a minute into the relationship.

“W-WAIT” Kara blurted just as he started up the machine, the man stopping in surprise. Taking an unneeded breath, the female leant forward.

“Look, we are androids ok? But we just want to get across the border to Canada and do...Canada things?- be free and say ‘ay’ and all that-surely there is something we can work out I mean I’ve never tried but um-ibetimaprettygoodkisserifyouwanttofindout” Kara whispered, rushing the last part.

The guard blinked, mouth falling open before his face became more neutral, he looked off to the side where live footage of the revolution was playing out. He chewed his lip in a sexy way making kara’s plastic nipples so erect they burst through her clothing and further startled the man.

“Um, look-I guess you can go through-just don’t tell anyone...” The brunet nodded at them, features shifting into an almost sad look making Kara sad, her nipples retracting like nibs on retractable pens.

“Thank you, thats...great-But why are you so sad?” The female android asked unable to leave without knowing her soon to be estranged lover was emotionally stable.

The man ducked his head slightly, almost embarrassed.

“...I..I just-are you a household Android?” He finally asked, Kara nearly melting from the nervousness in his soft grey eyes.

“Yes, I’m a AX400” she replied earnestly, barely excising enough willpower not to shove her face against the glass and coo lovingly at him.

The guard’s lip twitched upwards, a look of hope replacing his previous worry.

“Well, can you cook?” He added, Kara almost laughing at the question. Cook? The most basic programme nearly every household android has? A cooking protocol was standard in most models. Yes, she could cook, she could take a rock and some mud and still make god damn 4 star meal out of it.

...ok that might have been an exaggeration but holy shit-yes of course she could cook!

“Of course I can!” She almost laughed before nearly shutting down as his eyes lit up further and an excited smile reached his face.

“Can you cook Mac and Cheese!?” He blurted, half standing and nearly shoving his face against the glass.

Mac and cheese!? The instant meal most kids had every other day?!

“I could cook it without arms while blindfolded, of course I can cook fucking Mac and cheese!” She gushed at the window, both of them nearly touching noses against the glass separating them.

The man gasped, tears springing to his eyes, all he had ever wanted was Mac and cheese not mass produced, homemade, full of love...and cheese, plenty of cheese.

“W...would you make me Mac and c-cheese?” He managed to get out, eyes shimmering, hands sweaty-to bad he couldn’t make any damn spaghetti.

Kara pulled back, hands clasped over her mouth as she tried to quell the happy sobs threatening to erupt-oh fuck it-

“YES-YES I WILL MAKE YOU MAC AND CHEESE BORDER GUARD 2677!” She wailed in elation, the man in question breaking into his own waterworks of joy.

“I WILL ILLEGALLY LET YOU INTO THE COUNTRY KARA!” He burst out, slamming the button that cleared them for access into the country.

Kara continued to sob as she walked towards the exit, her new god-knows-what-vaulting over his glass prison and landing beside her.

“Come my love, let us gather the finest cheese from the nearest Wal-Mart” He cooed, gently stroking her face with such tenderness she lost control of her lubrication systems and filled her panties with lubrication fluid that awkwardly pooled on the floor around her.

“Of course...” she shakily replied as they joined hands and walked towards the land of Canada.

Except for Alice who slipped on Kara’s nasty lubrication fluid, falling and breaking to into pieces instantly, accompanied by the sound of pins falling when hit by a bowling ball.

And so, Kara and Border guard 2677 went to make Mac and Cheese together while the janitor moaned about how fucking difficult it was to clean lubrication fluid off the floor, he used The coat on Alice’s detached chest as a rag, shoving the body around to try and mop up the spill.

It was nasty.


End file.
